Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
