Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize