Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
