yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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