i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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