I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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