Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
