ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
