He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
