she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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