we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
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Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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