wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's the barista slut.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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