you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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