she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
