Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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