I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
