We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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