idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
