If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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