If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
