Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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