Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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