Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
