Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
