my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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