Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize