I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
