Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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