My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
