bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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