I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize