Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
