I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
