You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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