I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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