Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
