I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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