is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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