my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
