thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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