and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's like iHOP with fire
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
