I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
