whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
