she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
