remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
