I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
