I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
