So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
