ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
NoShamevember. You game?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
