And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
