I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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