had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
