Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
and i looked up. we had an audience...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
