I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Found your dick twin last night
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
