nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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