I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
two words...techno handjob
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
