I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
