I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
