let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
