There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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