So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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