Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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