'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize