Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
