Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize