I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
